


It's Quiet Uptown

by mal_fuctioning_writer



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 02:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15257085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mal_fuctioning_writer/pseuds/mal_fuctioning_writer
Summary: Today is the day. Steve has come to terms with it, and you’re still not talking to him about it. No matter how hard it is, you’ll have to tell Steve eventually. Bucky is gone and you have something to say about, yet you remain quiet. Will you finally reveal what you’ve been hiding at his funeral? (Modern AU Steve X Reader X Bucky)





	1. It's Quiet Uptown

Steve opened his eyes, woken up by the bits of light that managed to get through the cracks of the blinds. He sighed deeply and sat up with his eyes hanging off the side of the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Once he was fully awake, he looked over his shoulder to where you were sleeping, on the farthest corner of the bed, and felt a wave of sadness sweep over him just from looking at you. He was aware that you were probably awake and knew that he was awake, but he simply pursed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut before pushing himself up, onto his feet, knowing that it was unwise to bother you… especially today.

While he maneuvered around the many moving boxes, he found the one he was looking for It was labeled “Steve’s shirts” and he ravaged through it for a clean shirt to wear and kicked it over in frustration once he couldn’t find one. He sat on the ground, already feeling defeated before the day even began. Suddenly, his vision was blocked by something thrown at him. Steve removed it and recognized it as one of Bucky’s. He held it to his chest and smelled in hopes that it still had hints of his cologne only to be disappointed, grateful that you gave it to him anyway. He turned to say thank you, but you were already in the bathroom, taking a shower.

Steve walked out of the apartment complex, admiring the orange hues in the sky caused by the early morning sun. Fortunately it was always this quiet in this part of town, which was good for the two of you considering it’s what the three of you were looking for. The downside of it being so nice and quiet was that with it being so quiet, he was left alone with his own thoughts that he was trying to run away from. As soon as he started feeling short of breath, he stopped by the corner store for egg and cheese sandwiches to bring back for you to eat along with some coffee since there wasn’t any food at the apartment. He thanked the cashier and made his way back home, smiling at strangers as they passed by on their morning runs.

Opening the door, he was greeted by a full suit hung up on the key rack for him to see. Steve sighed and grabbed it then put the coffee and sandwiches next to you on your vanity. He watched you for a moment as you applied your makeup wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around your hair, waiting for a thank you that he knew wasn’t coming. Instead, he kissed your forehead and started stripping before getting to the bathroom to take a shower.

The steamy water against his bare skin felt painful, but he didn’t bother to turn the knob to make it cooler. He felt that he deserved to feel this pain. It was all his fault after all. Steve clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take every bit of the burning water as he leaned pressed his head to the side of the shower wall. The combination of the knob squeaking plus the water getting cooler confused him, and he looked to see that you joined him, allowing yourself to get yourself wet again after already taking a shower an hour prior. Steve felt tears sting his eye, and he buried his head in your shoulder as you wrapped your arms around him in an embrace.

The makeup you had on was getting ruined, but you didn’t care. Comforting your mourning husband was all that you could think about at that moment. You parted your lips slightly then closed them again as you hesitated to speak, for you hadn’t really spoken more than three words to Steve ever since Bucky’s passing. After deliberating it for a moment, you thought it was best not to say anything and just let him cry to release all the emotions that he needed to.

Steve sighed as he adjusted his collar as he looked at himself in the mirror then nodded once he decided he looked good enough. He noticed you were slipping on your tights and smiled sheepishly as you stopped to adjust his tie. Lastly, he slipped on his blazer that you buttoned up for him. Before you could walk away, he cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. He didn’t say anything, but you knew what he wanted to say, so you replied with a small nod. You closed your eye and waited for his lips to touch yours then gasped once it happened, giving into his kiss.

The two of you arrived at the church and greeted your friends individually as they gave you their condolences until the ceremony started. The sounds of everyone’s sobs and sniffles filled your ears as everyone shared stories about Bucky and how much a great guy he was. Some cause people to laugh while others made people sob hysterically, yet you kept yourself together.

Something that both you and Steve noticed was that neither of your parents showed up. Not Steve’s, yours, or Bucky’s. Even now, they refused to accept any of you for your lifestyle. But maybe it was best this way so that no one would get in any arguments. They never understood that three people could love each other. To all of your parents, you stopped existing once the three of you got married. None of that mattered now though. If Bucky’s death couldn’t change their minds, then they didn’t deserve to come anyway.

As the last of the people shared their stories, the preacher asked if anyone wanted to share anything else and everyone looked around, seeing if anyone was left. The preacher nodded and was about to announce it was time to close the casket and carry him to his plot, but Steve stood up and everyone’s worried eyes watched as he walked up to the podium.

Steve smiled and cleared his throat, “Good morning everyone. I know that I should have been the first person up here, but I… I was scared. Scared that once I got started talking that I’d finally have to accept that my best friend and husband is gone and that it was my fault. Our wife Y/N over there doesn’t want to admit it, but she definitely blames me for this. It hadn’t been for me, James Buchanan Barnes would still be alive, and that’s a fact. If I hadn’t drunk so much, he wouldn’t have had to come pick me up,” at this point, Steve was already in tears, “he wouldn’t have gotten hit by that drunk driver who is still walking around freely, might I add. Y/N would still be able to scold the both of us for working too late and letting the dinner get cold. She could still help me convince him to go to church every Sunday. Y/N would… would still be happy. This is all because of my stupidity for going out drinking without him, so I’d know my limit. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry, Bucky…” He sat back down next to you and sobbed into your shoulder while you still hadn’t she a single tear yet.

Steve, Tony, T'Challa, and Sam carried his casket out to his plot and everyone else cried even harder as he was lowered down into the six foot hole. The preacher said a few more prayers to assure that he was resting in peace then someone played taps on the trumpet. After that, people said goodbye once more and wished you both the best before leaving. You watched as people filed out one by one until it was just you and Steve left.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. You have every right to not talk to me. I deserve this treatment since this was all my fault, but can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?” Steve asked, waiting for a response to still not get one. He felt himself start to tear up again and his voice began to waver, “I-I’ll just- I’ll wait in the car.” Steve turned around and started walking away, only for you to grab his wrist to stop him. He looked at you in shock as he saw that you started crying for the first time since Bucky’s death.

“I don’t blame you, Steve. I blame myself,” you allowed yourself to finally speak.

“W-what? Why?” Steve was dumbfounded by your comment

“It was my turn, but I was too lazy to get you. I was the one that told him to pick you up. It should have been me, Steve. I should have been the one to die. Not Bucky. This isn’t your fault. You don’t need my forgiveness. I haven’t been able to talk to you about it because I didn’t think that you’d forgive me.”

Steve pulled you into his chest, cupped the back of your head to support you, “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself anymore.”

“No! If anyone is undeserving of anyone, it’s me. I don’t deserve you, I didn’t deserve Bucky, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness!”

“I forgive you, okay? I’ve been waiting for you to talk to me for so long, baby. You shouldn’t have kept that inside for so long, Y/N. This is our burden to share, but Bucky, our husband, wouldn’t want us to keep blaming ourselves anymore. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too Steve,” you, finally calming down.

What do you say we go start making our apartment look more like a home? “

"How can we just leave him here? I- I can’t just-” You felt yourself start to get hysteric again.

“Y/N, we need to let him rest now. That way he’ll be happy and watch over us until we can all be together again,” Steve said reassuringly as he gently started guiding you towards the car.

You sighed and nodded, “Alright, but can’t we say goodbye one last time?”

Steve looked at you with concern, but agreed, “Alright, but not too long. I don’t want to cry while I drive.”

You kissed his cheek as a thank you and the two of you knelt down on the grass and started reminiscing about the best times you had together.


	2. The Story of Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Bucky’s Funeral, you and Steve begin to unpack the boxes in your apartment. As you did, you found a picture that sends you down memory lane. The two of you share stories of the entirety of your relationship from the start to when you got married. (Modern AU Steve X Reader X Bucky)

As you unpacked box after box, you came across the one that contained pictures and smiled as you picked one up. You looked over your shoulder and tapped Steve’s upper arm with it, “Hey, babe. Look at this.”

He grabbed the picture frame and chuckled as he looked at it, “Oh, I remember this night like it was yesterday. It was when Bucky and I met you, right?”

You moved over and sat next to him, “Yeah.”

Steve looked up trying to remember everything accordingly, “You were going against Bucky in a drinking contest, and then he puked all over you, so we took you to our place and let you borrow a shirt then we all ended up passing out on top of each other on the sofa after a bunch of tequila shots. That was a crazy night.”

“You’re neglecting the best part, Steve.”

He glanced at you with a confused expression, “Am I?”

“Well, yeah,” you adjusted yourself, so you could face him fully, “Before the drinking contest, you two were struggling to get my attention at all since I was sulking at the bar, but you did it all in the worst way possible. Like trying to throw a dart, so that it landed in the bar counter, but you shattered my glass instead. Remember that, Casanova?”

Steve chucked and nodded, “Oh right, then Bucky hit you right in the ass… which is why you had the drinking contest. Wow, we were such idiots.”

You tackled Steve and pinned him on the floor, “Yeah, but you both won me over.” You smirked and placed a kiss on his lips, only to have Steve flip over and pin you down.

“Do you remember what happened the few weeks afterwards?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“How could I not?” You pushed him off of you and sat back up, “The two of you were nervous wrecks because you were both afraid to tell each other you had feelings for me, so you individually asked me out on a date to confirm your feelings and see if it was just a passing phase… Which only made things worse because you both fell in love with me even more.”

He sighed and pulled you over to sit on his lap, “Yeah, but little did we know that you were having troubles of your own because you fell for the both of us.”

You nodded and cupped the back of his head, “Then what happened?”

“Magic happened,” he said as he kissed you again.

“That’s right,” you giggled, “I suggested that I go out with both of you. Of course, you were skeptic about it at first, but then we went on our first date together as a polyamorous couple.”

“Oh, I remember that, too. It was when Bucky and I realized that we had feelings for each other as well.”

You nodded and pressed your forehead to his, “Right again, Steve, and I couldn’t be any happier about it.”

“You know who wasn’t happy about it?” He asked as he reached behind him to grab another picture to show you.

You looked at it and sighed. It was the picture of the three of you right outside the church where you got married, “Our parents… None of them showed up. They never approved. Not even mine. Didn’t even show up to the funeral.” You felt rage fill your stomach, and Steve noticed it, too.

He placed the picture down next to him and cupped your face in his hands, “Hey, no. It’s okay, baby. They didn’t deserve to if they were only going to judge us. All we needed was each other, and that’s still true. Even if Bucky isn’t with us physically, he’s still in our hearts. We’re still together and that’s all that matters.”

“I guess you’re right,” a smile crept across your face as you recollected something else, “I remember when we told your Dad. He had the worst reaction out of all of them.”

He hung his head and let out a sigh with a smile, “Yup. My hardcore Irish Catholic immigrant father didn’t even let us try to explain. He just started throwing shit at us, and he blamed you for this ‘blasphemy.’ You’ve even got a scar to remember it all.” Steve grazed the scar above your eyebrow where his father hit you.

“It was all worth it, though. I decided it was time that we finally get married after three years, and we all agreed to tell our parents.”

“How about how you proposed to both of us? That was the biggest surprise.”

You chuckled and stood up, walking over to a huge gorilla plushie, “Mr. Banana was the first surprise that day.”

Steve laughed as you threw it at him then groaned while squeezing it with a hug, “Bucky and I wasted like, $40 to win this for you at the pier.”

“Then I one-upped both of you with engagement rings. $410 a pop!”

“And we loved them, so it was worth it, right?”

“With how the two of you started crying? Totally worth $820.”

He threw the gorilla back at you and it knocked you over, causing you to laugh. As you pushed it off of you, Steve appeared in front of you and started tickling you as you tried to push it away, “Steve, no! Stop it! That tickles too much! Oh my gosh! Bitch, I will harvest your teeth! My sides!” You then retaliated by tickling back.

“Y/N! That’s not fair! Stop tickling me back! Accept your fate! Y/N! Baby!”

“Never!”

This continued for another minute before the two of you stopped. You both lay on the floor, breathing hard as you stared up at the ceiling. Then you looked at each other again, causing you both to laugh again. Now you lay on your sides, facing each other while staring into each other’s eyes in silence.

“I miss him so much, Steve,” you said as tears stung your eyes.

He hugged you to him and kissed your head while threading his fingers through your hair, “I know, baby. I know. I do, too.”


End file.
